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The ever great Costco offers three varities of pizza in their food court:
Cheese: there’s too much fucking cheese on this thing. If it had half the cheese it’d be damn near perfect. I can only imagine the calories per slice of this beast. I’m positive that in true Costo fashion an entire bulk block of synthetic mozarella is used. Poor African children aren’t getting their proper cheese diet thanks to this pizza. Sad. Really sad.
Pepperoni: this is not in fact a pizza. According to the FDA it qualifies as grease with toppings. They must have a spray bottle of liquid lard they add to the top of this before serving. The pepperoni’s are rarely crispy which is what pepperoni should be on a pizza. This is a bit more filling than cheese though and with a couple of napkin soak ups you can save a few years of your life.
Combo: probably the pizza with the most potential in the food court. Everytime you order it it’s a gamble though. Will it be covered in dried out susauge with a dabbling of other toppings or will it be that perfect blend? I tend to remove the sausage and onions anyways. That leaves the best costco mix of cheese, sauce, crust, and (healthy?) toppings. It takes a little work and if Costco employees who are paid well could always take their time when preparing you’d have a clear cut winner in the Costco Pizza Game.
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